


Just Praying to a God I Don't Believe In

by smokeandjollyranchers



Category: Critical Role
Genre: Angst, F/M, I'm not a dick there's a good ending, but don't worry, hurt character, very hurt character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 15:12:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17769152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeandjollyranchers/pseuds/smokeandjollyranchers
Summary: She does, looking up at him with unfocused eyes. “Hey Caleb,” she coughs, and her blood splatters the ground. “Did you know getting stabbed sucks.”





	Just Praying to a God I Don't Believe In

He watches her roll on her side, blood leaking out of her mouth.

“Jester you need to _stay awake.”_ He tells her, orders her really, in his fear he’s resorted to his instincts, what he’s learned. _What Trent taught him_. “Keep your eyes open.”

She does, looking up at him with unfocused eyes. “Hey Caleb,” she coughs, and her blood splatters the ground. “Did you know getting stabbed _sucks_.”

“Shhh, try not to talk. But yes, it really does.” His hands cover the wound in her side, and he pushes down, _hard_ , to stop the bleeding. _Fuck fuck fuck_ , he’s not good at this! He’s never been trained in stopping death, only causing it. “Jester do you have _anything_ left? Even a _little_ bit of healing would be better than this.”

“I have _nothing_ ,” She giggles. Her eyes getting more unfocused. “Why is it always cold here, Caleb?”

“Because the Empire is the worst place in the fucking world.” He needs to go and find Caduceus, but he doesn’t know where the fuck the rest of their group is, and he isn’t sure how long she has. “Jester, I changed my mind, I need you to talk to me.”

“Mmmkay.”

“Tell me how to help you.”

“Become a cleric.” She tries to smile, but her voice hitches, and she coughs more blood. Caleb growls, moving so she’s sitting against his chest, and he can keep pressure on her wound without her choking to death.

“Now _really_ isnt the time for jokes.”

“I...I have some bandages, in my bag.” She pants, her head lolling back onto his shoulder. “But, I don’t know if that will help any. I think I might be dying, Caleb.”

“ _You are not going to die_ .” He orders her, applying more pressure. He isn’t looking at the wound, he isn’t thinking about how warm her blood is against his hands, he isn’t thinking about how _pale_ she is. He’s only thinking of solutions, of answers. “Please, Jester, tell me what I need to do!”

“I need to get home again.”

“I know you do, we’ll get you there.”

“I have to meet the Traveler later this year.”

Caleb’s eyes narrow, and he looks to the sky. “Are you here?! Can you see us?! Help her! She’s done _everything_ for you! She is your goddamn champion! You need to help her!”

Jester giggles, followed by a horrible wet sound as she coughs more blood. “He’s always here, Caleb.”

“Traveler!” Caleb hollers again, squeezing Jester tighter. “Traveler _please_ ! Most of these old gods are bullshit, but you’re new, aren’t you?! You can’t afford to lose her, and we won’t survive it! _Please help her! I can’t!”_

There’s no movement, no sounds, nothing. Jester’s eyes flutter, and she rests her head against his. “He won’t leave me alone, but I might have to go now. I see a raven.”

“Jester if you talk to that raven I will never forgive you.” He snarls, eyesight blurring, tears or anger he can’t tell.

“Caleb? I’m glad you are here, you’re really warm.”

He clenches his teeth so hard he hears his jaw pop, and he realizes how goddamn _powerless_ he is to stop this. He’s going to let her down, in the worst way possible, and he can’t offer her _any_ help. “Jester, please stay. I don’t think I can handle a world without you in it.”

“I think you’re going to be okay someday, don’t forget about me tho.”

He wants to tell her that he never will, he never could. She’s become so fucking important to him and he didn’t realize it until the fucking moment her blood spilled through his fingertips. “Jester I-“

“CALEB!!” He can hear Nott’s voice, and his head flies up.

“NOTT! Gods Nott! OVER HERE!” He screams. “Jester just a few more seconds, NOTT!”

“Better, be worth it.” She wheezes.

Nott comes barreling through the tall grasses around them, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees Jester.  “Oh _fuck_ is she-“

“Where’s Caduceus?!”

“He’s coming! Here!” Nott scrambles over to them, pulling out a vial and ripping the cork out with her sharp teeth.  She pours the liquid into Jester’s mouth, and the cleric coughs. Blood splatters Nott, but she just waits, hand on Jesfer’s face.

When she stops coughing, she opens her eyes, a little brighter. “That tastes like shit.”

Caleb exhales heavily, his head resting on her shoulder. “ _Fuck_ , are you alright?”

“Everything hurts, but I can see you again.” She tells him. “The raven is gone.”

“Caduceus is coming, I ran ahead to find you,” Nott tells her, wiping some of the blood off her face. “The man in the green cloak said you were over here. I’m glad he did, we were so lost. That was so _close_.”

Caleb’s head pops up, and Jester smiles weakly, looking at him. “Guess the Traveler heard your prayers.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so it is kind of a dick move to post something so sad after all that fluff but!!  
> I really don't have an excuse! Enjoy  
> youcanreplytothisfic


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